i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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