Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
