saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
