The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
