you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize