when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
