If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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