Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
