i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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