if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
