I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
