You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
