This is not my ceiling
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
