Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
