Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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