thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
