he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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