Can Purell be used as lube?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize