So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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