you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
