wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
