I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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