1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
