I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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