Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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