My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
