Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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