Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
