How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
