If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize