well I can't set my house on fire every night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize