I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she pinky promised me she was 18
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
