I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize