So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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