I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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