i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
