So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize