she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
