Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
