dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
