He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
