Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
