Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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