I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't think brook has ever known best
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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