If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
