Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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