Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
