Dual....:-)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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