My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
