i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
