I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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