Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
