R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
