Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
