just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
