you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
