I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
