oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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