True but thats because hes a fetus.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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