he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
