i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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