In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
