I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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