Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
